sushi, tempura, sake

so i take back my sad post from a few hours ago. I have amazing friends. I do I do. They surprised me and told me to dress up and drove off with flowers in my hand. We when to the Grassy Knolls where Cliff brought champane and sushi and we watched the sunset. It was lovely. Only Cliff would organize such a thing. He like, made sure that the sushi was plattered lovely too. oh cliff.

They they took me to this hole in the wall Japanese joint. Never heard of it or seen it. It was kinda far away but it was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. I was reminded how much I hate Sake and Bryan reminded us its not for the taste we drink but its for the heck of it. Oh bryan. Anyways, the girls got me a sweet shirt, Cliff knows me too well and got me some huge sweet looking ring. Garth called me from Cambodia and the 45 little myspace happy birthday messages reminds me that maybe I am still loved. I'm full and happy and it was the best birthday I've had in ages. Friends make sad days turn into happy ones. I am blessed.

23rd birthday was ...interesting

I turned 23 today. Its my golden birthday. And today sucked. I suppose it could be worse, but since it IS my birthday I'm going to use this opportunity to pout. So my car got crashed into and now I'm dealing with the Campus insurance (campus van ran into me) and they are being pain in the ass. One of my best friends Ryan left today and I have no idea when I'll see him next (most likey in a few years...ouch!) Then, my phones screen broke. They said they cant replace it because its by water damange and that would mean its my fault. But I haven't gotten it near ANY water! Then I realized it is because I've been crying alot these days and my phone has been soaking in my tears for the past few months. Oh my gosh. My phone broke because I was sad. I've heard of a broken heart...but this is stupid. Then after a tearful convo the building manager comes telling me that I was supposed to have left the campus today. WHAT?? So now I'm no longer allowed to live on campus but I dont leave for 2 more weeks. agh.

I wont write the rest of my day as that would not be right to post that in a blog. but I think I made a mistake. Well not a mistake, but I am hurting right now because of it. I hope that person knows I still care so much for him. I dont know how to lean on God is the main concern. I dont know how to love God as much as i used to. I dont know what that looks like and how to get back to that place of crazy love for Jesus. I want to try, but its hard. I dont know how not to be the crazy girl. I wish I was stronger. Well, no, I know what the christian answer is... its okay to be weak but be weak in christ. Well i dont know how to do that either.
anyways, my friends are taking me out to a birthday surprise. Hope that goes well.