23rd birthday was ...interesting

I turned 23 today. Its my golden birthday. And today sucked. I suppose it could be worse, but since it IS my birthday I'm going to use this opportunity to pout. So my car got crashed into and now I'm dealing with the Campus insurance (campus van ran into me) and they are being pain in the ass. One of my best friends Ryan left today and I have no idea when I'll see him next (most likey in a few years...ouch!) Then, my phones screen broke. They said they cant replace it because its by water damange and that would mean its my fault. But I haven't gotten it near ANY water! Then I realized it is because I've been crying alot these days and my phone has been soaking in my tears for the past few months. Oh my gosh. My phone broke because I was sad. I've heard of a broken heart...but this is stupid. Then after a tearful convo the building manager comes telling me that I was supposed to have left the campus today. WHAT?? So now I'm no longer allowed to live on campus but I dont leave for 2 more weeks. agh.

I wont write the rest of my day as that would not be right to post that in a blog. but I think I made a mistake. Well not a mistake, but I am hurting right now because of it. I hope that person knows I still care so much for him. I dont know how to lean on God is the main concern. I dont know how to love God as much as i used to. I dont know what that looks like and how to get back to that place of crazy love for Jesus. I want to try, but its hard. I dont know how not to be the crazy girl. I wish I was stronger. Well, no, I know what the christian answer is... its okay to be weak but be weak in christ. Well i dont know how to do that either.
anyways, my friends are taking me out to a birthday surprise. Hope that goes well.