I'm in Issaquah. Living with a girl I don't know. Working in a new job. What the heck? How did I get here? It's funny where life takes you. Last year I would've thought I'd still be in Philly, but life brought me home and now here. The roads of the past year have been rough. Safe to say lots of pain.
But I think pain is good. I was watching the discovery channel the other day (I LOOOVE that channel. Don't knock it.) and it was all about the human body and they focused on pain. It was so interesting how important pain is (physically AND emotionally).
Pain is defined by the International Association for the Study of Pain (IASP) as “an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience..." and that pain is "part of the body's defense system, triggering mental and physical behavior to end the painful experience. It promotes learning so that repetition of the painful situation will be less likely."
I realize that they are talking about physically pain BUT! Shouldn't this be true for emotional pain? I think for so long I've had pain and tried to numb it, avoid it, cover it up and let it destroy me INSTEAD of allowing the pain to do its TRUE job and let it promote LEARNING so that the painful situation will be less likely. Brilliant. So from seeing it from a new perspective (I love new perspectives don't you?) it changes everything. But pain hurts. It's just a fact... but I guess it's a fact I'll finally accept as truth this go round. It means I have to get messy. It means I have to hurt, to open up and let people back in and thats hard.
Embracing the pain. Embracing the fact that last year was shitty. Embracing everything that hurt me and letting pain do it's job. So no more self pity. No more covering things up and being numb but letting it all go...even if its ugly because if I can allow myself to open up about all the things that have truly happened last year (that no one knows about) maybe...just maybe the healing begins.
