5 minutes a day

I give myself 5 minutes a day to be sad about what happened. I give myself 5 minutes to cry, to be mad, sad, angry...whatever. I don't want to pack ice around my soul , so I give myself 5 minutes to feel it all.

Life goes on. It always does. I just don't want to miss out on it. So I am picking myself up and living. Jesus is becoming more of my focus each day. When you lose focus on Him for such a long time, it can be sooo hard to get back on track. Discipline is what I need. So whether it be sitting with a group of people and talking God stuff, to forcing myself to just reflect,listen to God and his word... I'm doing it. It's a process like anything, but its one that I'm finally willing to go through.

Being back home I have a renewed sense of joy, passion, life, vision, hope. Those aren't just words I just wanted to through around. There is a deep meaning to all of those words for me. I also have been laughing. I haven't really laughed in a long long time. I forgot how good it felt to really laugh...for it to be genuine. I haven't laughed in the past few months like I did yesterday. I am blessed with the friends I have at home. I always have taken them for granted. Being in YWAM I have made mucho friends and yes, some are closer to me then some of my friends at home, but the friends at home have known me for 23 years. Thats depth. So in coming home I've come to realize to never take for granted your family...your friends...your resting place.

The future is so unknown now...but I'm so excited. Pushing through my hurts and focusing on Jesus and others.